Following up from yesterdays post about sentient melons, I have conclusive evidence hamsters can think. My one, expertly named Dumbledore, is trying to kill me.
I once read a story about how a hamster burnt down a house by causing a spark with its little wheel. The only logical conclusion I can come to is that my furry friend is not only trying to drive me insane with lack of sleep, from the squeaking wheel, its trying to create a fiendfyre.
If it was a demon I could just hire a priest to exorcise it, or to pretend to and charge me extortionate amounts of money. But it’s a hamster who the deuce is going to take me seriously? I mean it’s cute with its little furry ears and midget paws.
What I really want to know is can pets take therapy, if I wanted to kill someone I know I’d be shipped off to a counsellor. Maybe there’s a hamster whisperer out there who can solve the problem.
Now, people with actually scary pets must have real problems. Like the lady whose python was sizing her up to eat her? You must have heard this story its folk legend; a woman has a snake and she notices its growing horrifically fast and not eating so she takes it to the vet, who tells her its preparing itself to eat her. Not what you wanted to here about your beloved snake Fluffy is it?
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| Doesn't it strike terror into the cockles of your heart? |
Someone should seriously start a helpline for this kind of pet related killings.
Lots of ice lollies,
Ellen xxx
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